Aharei Mot-Kedoshim. Love Your Neighbor: Only Adults Can Fully Do This 

By Rabbi Alex Freedman.

One of the singularly priceless Jewish contributions to the world is a Torah verse we read this week from Kedoshim: “Love your fellow as yourself; I am Hashem” (Lv. 19:18). If that were the only value the larger world has learned from us, Dayeinu. 

This instruction is appropriate for even the smallest children; treat other children the way you want them to treat you. That is, if you want your friends to share their toys and snacks with you, it’s best for you to offer them as well. 

And the Mitzvah speaks to adults on an entirely different plane. In addition to weighing in on our actions towards others, this verse directs us to guide even our judgments of others. Here’s the Etz Hayyim Humash commentary: “Love your neighbor because he or she is like yourself, subject to the same temptations that you are. Just as we excuse our own behavior by seeing it in context, claiming that we were tired, angry, and misinformed and, therefore, guilty of nothing worse than poor judgment, we should be prepared to judge the behavior of others as charitably.” 

The Torah never tells us to never judge another person’s actions or motivations. Indeed, it’s human nature to do just that. But the Torah here urges us to do so charitably. Obviously, if a negative motivation clearly fuels a person’s harmful action, we shouldn’t look the other way or ignore what is clear. But much of the time motivations are hazy, and we can either give the other person the benefit of the doubt or withhold it. We have a choice. The Torah here reminds us that others are just like us. 

We all know that we are not at our best when we did not sleep well the night before, have not eaten lunch yet, or we are caring for a sick family member. We forgive ourselves (as we should) because we know we are trying our best. This is what the Torah wants us to consider when we judge the actions of our friends, family members, and even strangers we interact with. Judge others with compassion and understanding, for that is how we wish others would consider our own actions. 

Simple to explain, yet challenging to put into practice. Even the very thoughts we have toward others have the potential to lead us toward holiness and society to a better place.