God and Israel: A Complicated Love Story

By Hazzan Jacob Sandler. 

The Haftarah for parashat Bamidbar is from the 8th century prophet Hosea. There are many metaphors to describe God’s relationship with the Israelites. On the High Holidays we grapple with Avinu Malkeinu – God as parent or sovereign while we are children or subjects. God is our master and we are God’s servants. God is our shepherd and we are God’s flock. In every case God is in the position of power and we are lower. The challenge with Hosea is that he leans into the metaphor of God as husband and Israel as wife. And in our modern, egalitarian society we see that relationship as an equal partnership (or at least I think we should). So this language can be fraught with discomfort among contemporary readers as God takes on the role of a betrayed lover. Israel’s idolatrous ways are compared to adultery and the sins of the people are considered an affront to God of the highest order. Other lovers symbolize other gods, and the children born of those lovers symbolize the abandonment of religious beliefs and practices.

In the Etz Hayim Chumash, the introduction to the haftarah reads, “Apostasy will not go unpunished, yet hope for the people Israel’s future is proclaimed from the outset, a sign that divine mercy transcends judgment for sin. The covenant, perverted by national sin, will be renewed for the straying people.” 

Whether in a marriage, a relationship or even a platonic friendship, trust and communication are a necessary foundation. When a partner cheats, the pain of that betrayal can be world-shattering. And yet, even in all the hurt and the pain, I know of many who shared that they still felt love for the other. Not a blind, rose-colored denial but a disappointed, angry and sad recognition that the person they loved failed to live up to the person they thought they knew. How does God react?

First, God is justifiably angry. “Rebuke your mother, rebuke her–for she is not My wife and I am not her husband” The rebuke includes a natural desire to punish. “I will make her like a wilderness, render her like a desert and let her die of thirst.”

Then in verse 7, it’s as though God is trying to imagine why Israel would do this. “Because she thought, ‘I will go after my lovers, who supply my bread and my water, my wool and my linen, my oil and my drink.’” But God knows that however unsatisfied the people may have felt, there is no excuse for such behavior. And God knows that in truth, He can and does provide. In His self-righteousness, God says, “Pursue her lovers as she will, she shall not overtake them and seek them as she may, she shall never find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go and return to my first husband, for then I fared better than now.’ And she did not consider this: it was I who bestowed on her the new grain and wine and oil…”

Perhaps, in anguish, God gives in, just a little, to the more petty, vengeful feelings that arise. “Now will I uncover her shame in the very sight of her lovers, and none shall save her from Me…Thus I will punish her for the days of the Baalim, on which she brought them offerings; when, decked with earrings and jewels, she would go after her lovers, forgetting Me.”

But what I found the most incredible about God in this metaphor isn’t the anger, the pettiness, the self-righteousness – all of which are valid if you’ve ever experienced such betrayal. It’s how truly infinite God’s love and capacity for forgiveness can be. “Assuredly, I will speak coaxingly to her and lead her through the wilderness and speak to her tenderly. I will give her her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor as a plowland of hope.” Despite the hurt and the damage, God still sees a future with His people. “There she shall respond as in the days of her youth, when she came up from the land of Egypt. And in that day…you will call Me Ishi (lit. my husband)  and no more will you call Me Baali (lit. my husband but also evoking Ba’al a Canaanite god).”

At the end of our Haftarah, we hear the famous verses that are recited as we wrap the tefillin around our hands. As we wrap our fingers, like a wedding ring, we remind ourselves that God has chosen us forever. God will espouse us with righteousness and justice, and kindness and mercy. God will espouse us with faithfulness and we shall know Hashem. 

I’m not always sure if God is right to keep coming back to a people that so often has gone astray. From the Golden Calf, to the idolatry of the 8th century Israelites, all the way to our present day where religious observance and spiritual fervor seem to be becoming less central to most people’s lives. Why does God put up with it? I don’t know. But if I take the words of the prophet seriously, I might venture a guess: God’s infinite love is powerful enough to overcome the heartache of flawed creations. And because God’s commitment to justice, kindness, mercy, righteousness and love is unwavering. “The renewal of the covenant,” according to the Etz Hayim chumash, “does not depend on Israel’s repentance or initiative. It is a transformation initiated and guided by God.”